YOUR IMPOSTER TYPE IS:
The Superhuman
As a parent, you're a masterful juggler, managing school drop-offs and pick-ups, soccer games, dance recitals, and endless playdates. You're the go-to for scraped knees and runny noses, and you always have a stash of snacks and entertainment on hand. At work, you’re always willing to lend a hand and go the extra mile to get the job done right.
But secretly, you feel like you’re drowning in all the pressure to be the best at everything.
Even without being conscious of it, you take on others’ concerns as your own. You find yourself saying yes to every request, even when it erodes your own needs and sanity. Like many caught up in the pressures of modern life, you’re an addict of external validation, seeking endless approval from your boss, your colleagues, your partner or your family. You struggle to accept constructive criticism and find that elusive healthy balance between work and life.
I see you, Superhuman, because I’ve been exactly where you are right now, struggling to be the perfect partner, perfect parent, perfect employee… perfect everything.
But boundaries are not about keeping other people out. They are about holding yourself in and nourishing yourself so you can experience the care, respect and generosity that you give so freely to others.
Let’s lovingly thank your Superhuman Imposter for keeping you safe (after all, that’s what they have been trying to do all this time). It’s time to let go of an addiction to external validation and embrace constructive self-compassion.
Here are 3 tips to overcome your superhuman imposter
Tip 1
Let go of the guilt and practice saying no, firmly and without apology. Whenever you feel an itch to say yes, consider 1) Is this something you truly want to do?, 2) What will you need to sacrifice by saying yes? Will it harm you to take this on? Be honest with yourself and others about the answer. You don’t need to overstretch yourself in order to be ‘worthy’ of another’s respect.
Tip 2
Take a step back and look at how you’re actually spending your time without rose-coloured glasses. Before hurtling into an unconscious pattern of giving away all of your free time without regard for your own wellbeing, ask yourself: How can you build time into your day for rest and rejuvenation, even if it’s just ten minutes? Try planning out your time hour-by-hour and keep firm boundaries around that precious self-care.
Tip 3
If you’re having trouble applying the first two tips, try starting small with the simple phrase “Let me get back to you.”
This phrase is helpful because it helps you buy yourself time to honestly reflect on how you feel about the request.
This is much easier than saying no in the moment. And it gives you time to make the right choice.
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